Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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