So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
