How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
