OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
