K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize