so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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