He is such a slut. More and more my type.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
