I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
