pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
