she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
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Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
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She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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