Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
