need another drink. this is the easiest way
Your tits are I can't wait for
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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