would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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