I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
