i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
