I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize