Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
