I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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