The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
