Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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