whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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