y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
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We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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