how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
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she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
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I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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