i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
