ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
