She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she peed on how many people?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
