his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
