I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
