I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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