Where are you?
In a non slutty way
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
