Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
