If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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