How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
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We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
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Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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