all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize