Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
