dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
