Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
