yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
