Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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