And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
420 ftw
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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