Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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