i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
