sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize