dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
