u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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