So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
