Can i not drive my cunt home
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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