We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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