i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
