OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
