The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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