omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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