somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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