yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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