Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
