i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
