I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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