remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
