i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
