don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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